31 Things I Have Learned In 31 Years

Happy Birthday to me!!! I can not believe I am 31 years young. When I was little I had my whole life planned out, or so I thought. It changed over the years, usually quite drastically. In elementary school I thought I would grow up, get married at a young age and have a bunch of kids (white picket fence and all). Then in high school, I thought I would become a hair stylist and travel around the United States doing hair and makeup for movie stars; by the time I was 30 I would for sure be a millionaire. In my early 20s, I decided I was going to be a nurse anesthetist and save a ton of lives and run on adrenaline, living in the operating room. Well, God had different plans. Here I am, a 31 year old hospice nurse who holds peoples hands as they take their last breaths, consoling families on the absolute worst days of their lives. I am not married and I do not have children yet and I am HAPPY- RIGHT WHERE I AM AT. My story is far from over. These are the things that I have learned over the past 31 years. Some of these I have learned on my own, some have been shared from family and friends, and some have been little pearls from God.

1. Being kind and honest can take you so much further in life than being smart. My mom taught me this from a very young age. Always be kind. Treat others like you want to be treated. It has proved to be very true. If you make a mistake, own up to it. Do not be sneaky- you will always get caught.
2. Friendships come in so many different shapes and styles and that is okay. I am so blessed with many different types of friendships. I have friends of all ages. Some of my friends I talk to on the daily (if I haven’t heard from Heidi by noon, I am filing a missing persons report). Other friends, we can talk once a month or even a couple times a year and pick up right where we left off. Some friendships are only for a short while and then they fade, but each one has shaped me into who I am.
3. Beauty begins within and will not fade with age. I have known many people who look great on the outside but once they show their heart, their exterior beauty is not so attractive. A beautiful heart will never fade.
4. Crying is not a sign of weakness. Ever since I was little I have always tried to hold back tears when in front of others. I saw crying as a sign of delicacy and feared that people would think I was fragile. Crying is opening your heart and showing how much you care. It is a sign of how much you love something, not weakness.
5. Everyone has good characteristics. Each and every person on this planet has good things about them. You may have to search long and hard to find them, but they are there. So find them.
6. If you want to know what people value- see what they spend time doing and what they spend their money on. People spend quality time doing the things they love and they spend their hard earned money on things they value. End of story.
7. Spend as much time as you can with your parents/family. You will never look back on your life and think “wow, I spent too much time with my family or my parents.”
8. Do not stay at a job that you hate. Life is short. I witness this on a daily basis. Work hard to find a plan B and do not settle to stay in a workplace that is terrible. Been there, done that. I would much rather take a pay cut and be happy than bring home more money and be miserable. It is very easy for a horrible career to trickle over into home life.
9. Live within your means. I am all about “treating yourself,” once in awhile! But debt is no fun. I am STILL working very hard to pay off the remainder of my student loan debt and I did not even get to have fun blowing that money on goodies. Hence why I still live at home! Set a budget and live within your means.
10. If a man is not pursuing you like Colton Underwood pursued Cassie (yessss, I watch The Bachelor) then he is not that into you. Never in a million years did I think I would learn life lessons from a reality show like The Bachelor. But I did. This man had two women in front of him that would have given him the world and he chased the woman of his dreams who left the show, across the world because he loved her that much. Seriously, if you are struggling with a relationship, go on YouTube and watch how much this man adored this woman. So heartwarming and a happy ending!
11. Your health is one of the most valuable things you have. You can be a multi-millionaire and your money can not and will not save you if your health is failing.
12. People make time for things that are important to them. Someone told me this once and it stuck with me. Plain and simple but very true. If someone is not making time for you, you are not that important to them.
13. Take care of your things and clean up your messes as you go. Make your bed in the morning, clean up your dishes as you cook, etc. This makes a world of difference when it comes time to clean. I started doing this in my teenage years and have done it since. It takes a few extra minutes and just makes you feel so much better.
14. Give people the benefit of the doubt. People are allowed to have bad days. The cashier at the grocery store- maybe she has a sick kid at home. The person who just cut you off in traffic- perhaps they are trying to get to the hospital to get to their loved one who just took a turn for the worst. I try and think of this when people make me mad. Who knows, maybe they are just angry and in a hurry. But you never know what someone else is going through.
15. Stop trying to change people. No matter what, you can not change people. The only person you can change is yourself. Spend your time and energy working on you.
16. You can be anything you want to be. Do not be afraid to dream. It is never to late to change the pace of your life and go back to school, start a new life journey, completely transform your entire life. I am living proof of that. Two years ago, I was a completely different person. I wanted to change my future and have worked extremely hard to be where I am today. All you need is a goal and a positive mindset and YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.
17. If you have a gut feeling about something, LISTEN TO IT. Rarely have my gut feelings, led me in the wrong direction. These intuitions are almost always right, do not ignore them.
18. Not everyone is going to like you. This has always been a struggle for me and a hard pill for me to swallow. In general, I try and be a likable person. I am a people pleaser and I LOVE PEOPLE. But not everyone is going to like you in return and that is okay. Just know that from the start and move on.
19. It really does take a village. Life is not intended to be lived alone. We are beings that are made to interact. We crave relationships with one another and we are better when grouped together. Man was not created to live alone. I am blessed to have an amazing village. My parents, my sister, my brother-in-law, my nephews, my grandparents, my friends, my neighbors, my coworkers, and everyone in between have shown what a true village looks like.
20. You are never alone. I accepted Jesus as my personal Savior at a young age. I may look physically alone at times, but I am filled with The Holy Spirit. Even on my worst days, I am filled with Him and that is enough.
21. A humble heart is a noble heart. No matter what you accomplish in this life, it is so important to stay grounded. Treat the people and the world around you with kindness and love. Your value does not come from what you have or what you have accomplished. Keep your two feet on the ground and stay humble.
22. Silence is a good thing. Silence helps us focus when we are alone and shows that we are listening when communicating with others. It is a necessary thing. Silence is also something that can be needed to heal the mind and the soul.
23. Get regular check ups with your primary care doctor. I know, I know. Do y’all know how many patients I have taken care of in my Hospice center in the past four years that could have avoided dying by getting check ups and age specific preventative tests done?? I won’t rant about this. But it is not a coincidence that you are reading this. Make your appointment today.
24. Move more, on a regular basis. Park further away at the grocery store, walk a couple laps on your lunch break, take a hike on your weekend off. Once you get into the routine of moving more, you will fall in love with it. Like I said above, your health is so important and moving more can improve your health on so many levels.
25. Try and do something kind for someone, everyday. No, you don’t have to spend money doing this. Open the door for an elderly lady at the store. Let someone go ahead of you at the gas station. These days when someone does something like this for me I am shocked. It is very sad that things like this surprise me. But this is what the world has come to. These things should be done on a regular basis and not surprise us at all. Just be kind and pay it forward when someone is kind to you.
26. Before your feet hit the floor, think of one thing you are grateful for. I find that when I do this, my day gets started off on the right foot (literally). I have so much to be thankful for; my health, my friends, my family, my career. Sometimes I am thankful for the little neighbor kids I hear playing outside my window that wake me up with their Power Wheel cars. Whatever it is, I try and start my day off by being thankful before the craziness of the day begins.
27. Communication is the key to any human relationship. Whether it is a friendship, relationship, marriage, conversation between toddlers, a meeting at work between 30 people, communication is the key.
28. There is nothing more innocent than the heart of a child. Children are our future. I adore children. Most of you know how much I love kids. I want them around me at all times. I love seeing their innocence and the purity of their little hearts. Their little minds are so smart and brilliant. They have hearts of gold and I love seeing the kindness they show. Some adults could learn a thing or two from children.
29. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. You want a tribe of friends who make you feel happy. People that make you want to be better and people who make you laugh. No one wants to hang out with Debbie downers. Everyone is going to have bad days, but the majority of your time spent with your friends should be enjoyable! Life is short, make it count.
30. Smile more. Whether you are at the grocery store, gas station, at work, taking a walk, or passing a car- try and smile more. When someone takes 0.2 seconds and smiles at me it completely brightens my day. Simple as that.
31. Tell people how you feel. Be open and honest with your feelings. If someone upset you, tell them. If you are grateful for someone, tell them. If you care about someone, tell them. And by golly, IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, TELL THEM. You may not get the chance to do it tomorrow. “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t come back, it was never meant to be.”

Life doesn’t always go as planned and that is okay. It is filled with ups and downs. Here’s to making tons of memories this upcoming year and bringing you all along for the ride!!

♥ Love and hugs, Maddie