This is a HUGE misconception that is drilled into our brains from the beginning of time. Smaller is better, little is good, tiny is the goal, skinny is best. Until recently, I even believed that my lowest weight was the best weight for me. I started my journey in June of 2017 at 338 pounds. I had gastric bypass surgery and after twenty one months, I lost a total of 180 pounds. I stayed at 158 pounds for about one solid year.
Until around May of 2020, my weight held steady. The time when the pandemic hit, good ole COVID-19. Since then, (the past 6-7 months) I have battled with about 8-10 pounds that keeps coming and going. My weight bounces around from 165-168 pounds depending on the day, the time of the month, etc. My clothes still fit the same. I have also started working out again and I eat mindfully and intuitively. Let me add, that I feel amazing. I feel healthy, I feel strong, AND I FEEL HAPPY!!!!! I am completely comfortable in my own skin. Something that I have never felt in my entire life.
I could have maintained at 158 pounds if I really tried. I believe I could have and I could get back down to that weight. I just would not be able to have the treats that I like to enjoy on occasion. But I had gastric bypass surgery to LIVE. I did not want to be a prisoner to a “diet” plan. My ultimate goal was to be healthy, happy, and be at a lifelong manageable weight that I saw fit for my lifestyle. And this is it!
There are so many components that go into figuring out a “goal weight.” My original goal weight was 165 pounds. But let me tell you, when you see the scale get to that lowest weight, it messes with your head. You always think of that number and sometimes it never leaves your mind. Numbers in general mess with our head. We are so focused on calories, carbs, protein, weight, sizes of pants, goal weight, etc. Instead of HOW WE FEEL!!!
On the left, I weighed 338 pounds. In the middle I weighed 158 pounds. On the right, I weigh 165-168 pounds. Over the past few months, I have ditched the scale. I go by HOW I FEEL. I can tell by my clothes, my energy, my mental and emotional well-being. Even at 158 pounds, I was still considered “overweight” for my height according to the BMI charts; do not get me started on those. BMI charts are decent as a guide but they do not take into consideration a plethora of factors.
On the right I have built back much of my muscle mass that I lost when I was not able to work out due to being diagnosed with Hemiplegic Migraines. And muscle is so important. I would rather be ten pounds heavier and have more muscle! This is where the number on the scale is not the end all be all.
Also, I do want to mention, I am a nurse working and taking care of patients during a pandemic. My body was created to survive things like this. My body was not just made to be “beautiful” or an “object.” It was created to sustain tragedy and perform in situations like these. To hold the hands of those dying from a deadly virus. It needs fuel (like extra carbohydrates) when I am working longer shifts as a nurse. If I make it out of the pandemic with only an extra 8-10 pounds, I think that’s a win in itself. I also do not know how my body would have performed if I didn’t have bariatric surgery and I was trying to live in 2020 at 338 pounds. I have thought of this many times over the past 9 months and I am thankful for this tool each and everyday.
When you find your “happy weight” it is truly a magical feeling; a freeing feeling. I can’t even explain what it means to be 100% comfortable in my own skin. I have excess skin everywhere on my body and quite honestly it is a reminder everyday that I conquered what I once thought was impossible. My excess skin is a reminder that I have kept off over 170 pounds. You have to earn your excess skin and keep earning it everyday that you keep your weight off. I have thought about skin removal surgery in the past, but it does not interfere with my daily life. I am able to exercise and my excess skin does not cause me any rashes. I have scars from my surgery and I personally love them.
I preach being body confident but I am really living it. I never thought that was possible four years ago. I thought that I would always look in the mirror and critique myself for something. When I look in the mirror, I am thankful and I beam at the woman I have become. Even if the scale reads 168 pounds, I AM DARN PROUD!
I have overcome adversity, bariatric surgery, a pandemic, obstacles, bullying, and now I am sharing my story with the world. I want you to know that you are worthy and that your lowest weight is not always THE BEST WEIGHT. It is important to be happy, healthy, and comfortable in your own skin. I am all for skin removal if that is what you want. Heck, one of my most favorite appointments every 3-4 months is my botox appointment! I don’t miss that for anything! Do what makes you happy!
You can do anything you set your mind to! Cheering you on no matter where you are in your journey. Don’t forget to subscribe to my weekly newsletter for weekly workouts, weekly recipes, and more!
Love & hugs,
Maddie
This article is so freeing! I have lost 217 lbs from my heaviest of 400 lbs. My sleeve surgery was May 10, 2021. My bariatric surgeon strongly encourages not to have a goal weight, but to let your body show you what you should weigh. I still struggle with wanting to weigh 140, according to BMI charts, but that is not realistic. Like you, I have a LOT of loose skin, but I will adopt your mindset re: using it as a reminder of what I have accomplished. God has been so good to me throughout this journey. I am so very, very grateful!!
Hi Terri, I am so glad you found this freeing. I found it so freeing when I found my “happy weight” instead of my goal weight. My lowest weight, I was very weak and just didn’t feel my best! I am so proud of you; it sounds like you are doing incredible! Way to go!!!! God is so good!